December 18, 2015

a Hug, a Cappuccino, two shots of tequila or two weeks of sleep? I'll take all!

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~ Plato
The holidays are always a tough time for everyone. For some it's the traveling, the traffic, the shopping, the financial strain. For others it's because grief and loss arrive during this time. It's like gravity. Happiness and celebration, needs the opposite side of the coin; sadness and quietude.  

This year has been a very hard year for me and my family.  For me, it started with the loss of my special pet, Tiki.  She had a long and healthy life, but still, even after 16 years it was painful to loose her.  I still shed tears when thinking of her, or when I see small dogs.  Or hear about ailing older dogs.  I'm not sure that will ever go away.  She was my constant companion.  My world traveling dachshund.

Then early this year we learned that my Mother has breast cancer, at the age of 80!  That's nuts, and seems like a cruel joke.  My mother is a strong woman, and has proudly tackled the nasty treatment that they make you do.   But it's not been easy.  Not easy for us, her children with the panic of possibility of loosing your mother. And not easy for her, of course, for the fear and the pain and discomfort of what she's going through.  I think of her, and worry about her daily.

Then this week, my father, who has been suffering from the late stages Parkinson's and accompanying dementia, has been taken seriously ill.  And the prognosis is not good.

Update: 1-2-16.
My father passed away on Christmas

It's so awful to loose your parent, no matter what your relationship.  I've watched my friends loose their parents over the years, and dreaded the day it would come for me.  Thankfully,  I can happily say that my relationship with my father was good these past few years.  He became someone I could really talk to, and confide in.  It wasn't always that way.  But there are ways in which we are alike, which probably let the bond grow.  We know we have grown up, when we can see that the grown ups are also scared children.

I love you dad.  I'll always remember the good moments and adventures with happiness. And the ones that aren't so, I'll warmly wrap them in my arms, acknowledge them and let them go.

Me and Dad.

November 8, 2015

There is so much literature out there about staying in the now, being still, being with your breath, the power of affirmations, power of awareness and power of now. It's not a new concept.  Whoever you find, whatever book your reading about it, I can guarantee you'll find another one out there, just as good, and just as powerful.  It's really amazing.  I thought when I picked up a book by Neville, that he was the one who came up with the whole "law of Awareness".  I mean, that's a classic.  He wrote so many books;  The Miracle of imagination, At Your Command, Awakened Imagination & The Search, Feeling is the Secret, Freedom For All, Out of This World,Prayer, The Art of Believing,Seedtime and Harvest, The Law and The Promise,The Power of Awareness and Your Faith is Your Fortune.

Neville was a true mystic and biblical scholar. But you don't have to be religious to be inspired by his messages. And he wrote these books between 1930-1970.  And of course, there is Eckhart Tolle, who wrote the Power of Now, and a New Earth, among others. He also is a guide and teacher of living in the now, and finding stillness within.   
Neville said, (I paraphrase) that rather than getting irritated about reading repeated ideas from the same author - in many different books or different authors, think of it as reinforcement. Everything that you do becomes a habit only if you repeat it. So how can you achieve stillness, or even keep to you agenda with your affirmations if you don't make it regular. It's just like physical exercise, only this is spiritual and emotional.
People find new ways to package and sell truths that have been around for hundreds if not thousands of years and make them sound fresh and relevant to today’s needs.  Even “The Secret” is nothing more then a repackaging of information from material that has been around for centuries, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as information must be made relevant to the times in which we live. ~ www.audioenlightenment.com
Most of us get trapped into the question of "what is going to happen next?"  We seem to need to know this about our relationships, our work, and throughout our daily life.   We get so caught up in it that we don't know how to live right now. To appreciate this moment. To be thankful for what we have right now in front of us.

This is a great piece I copied down from The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie, that highlights this principle:
Worrying about what’s going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering today’s lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what’s going to happen tomorrow will be for the best.
Worrying about what’s going to happen is a negative contribution to our future. Living in the here and now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today, but for tomorrow. It helps our relationships, our career, our recovery; and our life. Things will work out, if we let them. If we must focus on the future other than to plan, all we need to do is affirm that it will be good.
So be thankful to whoever your guide and teacher is now, and know that you too will be a guide next. Because we are all students, and we are all teachers in life.  We will say the same things, sometimes differently, with different perspectives, but ultimately it's the same.

~ Namaste ~

October 28, 2015

For What it's Worth, Being Grateful is Easy

Sometime last year, at the end of a long grey winter, and a much needed "shedding of gloom", I made a list.    

This is the year for getting real with myself.  And that also includes sharing something more, than my love of fashion, icons and vintage 70's inspo.  It means sharing my spiritual journey, and you know, getting all zen on it.  You know. Meditation, crystals, and sage.

Anyhow, where was I?  Oh yes.  So sometime last year, after a particularly hard three years, I was asked by my angels and guides to make a list of what I'm grateful for.  So I did. I wrote it down, and then filed it away. With all my other notes and journals.

I didn't remember doing it when I just happened to come across it today.  But reading it anew, it brought out all sorts of feelings of ahhh and ohhh.   Ahhh to feel good about that.  Wow, to have that! And Ohhh, a bit sad at things that have passed.

I'm happy to share it, If anything, what a wonderful exercise to do!  Focusing on the positive. We can be so sad and negative at times, it's good to remember why were here, and what were grateful for.  Besides, I love writing lists.

So here it is:

1. I am so grateful to have such great friends in life, that even through time and distance we have remained super close.

2. I am grateful that it's been sunny and warm here in Hamburg this past week!

3. I am grateful that every day is a chance to start anew.

4. I am grateful for Tiki, who wakes me up with a smelly kiss every day. She'll be 16 this October!

5. I am grateful for 19 (20 in Feb) years with Mark.

6.  I am grateful for Jackson and Dean.  They are amazing and kind.  And they will always be.

7.   I am grateful for zen belly dancing makeup artist BFF Jamie!

8.  I am grateful for Victoria and how our relationship grows and matures each year.

9.  I am grateful for my Brooklyn babes!  New York Babes! Virginia Babes! California Babes! Hamburg Babes!  Barcelona Babe!  

10.  I am grateful for the sun that is shining across the floor and warming my feet.

11.  I am grateful for the opportunity to study in London

12.  I am grateful for my mother's strong brave personality that carried us through the toughest times in my early life.

13.  I am grateful for my brother and his Dome of Freeness.

14.  I am grateful for having a relationship filled with love and respect with my father.

15.  I am grateful for learning to wipe out the phrase, "I should…"   and replace it with:  I will, I want, I need, etc...

16.  I am grateful for silence

17.  I am grateful for menopause!

18.   I am grateful for 




Well I didn't finish.  But it was a good list.  I'm still very very sad that Tiki is no longer here to wake me up with her stinky breath.  I don't think that pain will EVER go away.   My Mother is still a tough cookie, but battling the pain in the ass that Chemo is.  She's a survivor!  Fuck Breast Cancer.  And my Father, is now in a Memory Care facility because his Parkinsons/Dementia is a bitch, which means, talking to him is really difficult between the awfulness of him being there, and his failing ability to talk for very long. I miss our regular conversations.  I used to get frustrated that I was the one that had to call to make the conversations happen (being in Europe). But I'd give anything for that to be the problem again.  

Even so,  I have more to be grateful for now to add to the list.  

18.   I am grateful for to be back in Brooklyn among my friends.

19.  I am grateful for my soul Sista Hannah who is on the same spiritual path i am. 

20.  I am grateful for all the amazing friends I made in Hamburg. I'll miss you.

21.  and I am grateful for my Goddess mother DeAnna who has been the anchor and the ignition for the start of my spiritual journey.

~ Namaste ~

October 6, 2015

Living and Breathing Love and Life

Just a lovely recap of yesterday's big day.

It was awesome!  

My birth into my next chapter of life has started off on a good foot.  So many sweet tidings from friends all over the world and loads of love from family near and afar, blood and by bond.

Oysters for lunch, cake for tea time, Pescado and Margaritas for dinner!  All my favorite things.
And the best?  I was sarinated to by my sons and husband!  With one son on piano, the other on guitar, they all sang out Happy Birthday to me.  What a great surprise!
I do love surprises!

It's all good from here really.  Everything up to now is school.  Now it's time to practice what we've learned, to put it to good, and keep it going.  And what better way to illustrate this than Susan Grace's post from yesterday, on my birthday!!  Move forward. Don't plow on through blindly.  Take it with grace, and steady strength.  Steady on my friend. Were in this together.

You are on a bridge.
You are walking between
What was and what is coming next.
Suffering is behind you.
What you're heart truly wants is in front of you.

On this walk,
You are anxious that
If you don't walk exactly right,
The bridge will fall and
So will you.
Maybe you should book it -
Run fast and hard.
Get away from what was.
Dive head-first into what's calling you forward.
Get this transition over with and be done with it.
Don't do that.
You'll smash the bridge.
You have to find the balance.
It's not in what is happening or
In what people around you are doing.
You have to find the balance within.
You have to carry that balance forward to the other side.
You do not know how this is going to pan out.
You do not know how other people are going to show up.
You only know that you have to cross this bridge.
You only know that you,
One way or another,
Are going to make it to the other side
Without falling.
Don't smash the bridge.
You need it.
Trust the Life ahead that is calling your name.
Let your heart lead.
Find the balance.


October 3, 2015

Gusty winds bring the Celebration of the Living and the Dead

I love October! It's chilly, windy, and brings in feelings of celebration on All Hallows Eve, carving pumpkins, decoration with skeletons, and of course, my birthday is where it all begins for me.

So begins the celebration of my 50th year. I can't really believe it to be true.  I don't feel this number, nor do I really look like what we think 50 looks like.  My birthday is NOT today, it's on Monday, but tonight I celebrate with with a few friends. I can't wait to gather around with my friends to celebrate life! Life is good!

I remember when communicating to my friend about being 50 this year, after shrugging, "ugh", she laughed and said. "Well, what's the alternative?  Death?  You should be celebrating."  Ha. I had to have a laugh at that.

I start my year– not on New Years– but on my birthday date, with goals and commitments to myself.  Some of them I started early on, to make sure I was well on the way with these commitments before I even hit the magic age of 50.  My most proud moment is laying off cigarettes... again.  I used to be a smoker over 10 years ago, when I quit. But I let stress, and anxiety bring me back to that habit, just two years ago.   Well, it just pissed me off that I did this, and in light of friends and family members going through Cancer, I told myself I was being stupid. So this past August I quit for good.  Just stopped cold turkey, and I feel great.

I've also started on a good course of Yoga and Meditation.  My meditation practice is getting stronger, and Yoga is slowly getting rooted into my weekly practice.   This is all good healthy stuff.

I have more ideas, but the most important is to get my business going.   Just settling in right now, and getting my studio set up, but when I get there, by end of this week (YES I WILL), I'll let you know!

This blog will also be taking a re-design, and focus. So wait for that.

In the meantime, I wanted to share a reading from one of my favorite Astrologer/writer's, Susan Grace.  You can find her on Facebook. More than an astrologer, more of a Spiritual Leader! I felt this to be perfect for me this last week.  The birth of the new moon was extraordinary, and really had an effect on me.  And this just sums it up. Thanks Susan.  And thanks Hannah for being so supportive and sharing!

Moon in Gemini square Jupiter in Virgo and Neptune Rx/Chiron Rx in Pisces, trine Sun in Libra, quincunx Pluto in Capricorn

Sun in Libra quincunx Neptune Rx in Pisces, square Pluto in Capricorn
Mercury Rx exacting Black Moon Lilith and Juno in Libra
North Node at zero degrees Libra sextile Saturn at 1 degree Sagittarius
Venus in 3rd decan Leo
Mars in Virgo oppose Neptune Rx in Pisces
Jupiter in Virgo trine Pluto in Capricorn

It's almost comical.
We try so hard to make everything line up.
Blind faith are involved, and
We think Let Love Rule, but also,
How do we make this exactly like we want it?
Um, we don't.
It's not going to be exactly like we want it.
It's going to be
Weird and
Awkward and
You'll say things you don't mean.
You'll stumble.
You'll serve up your heart on a silver platter.
You'll pour out forgiveness when people act like jackasses.
You'll wear your best shoes in the rain.
You'll burn the lasagna, but it's still edible.
This is Life.
It is perfect in it's imperfections.
The only thing you need to line up is
Your trust in yourself.
Don't worry so much about how Life is showing up.
It's showing up how it needs to.
It's surprising you on purpose.
It's showing you what you need to learn about
The Truth of Who You Really Are.
Be brave and
Reach for the Beauty.
You have Love in your heart -
You'll be fine.

June 3, 2015

My spiritual daily exercise: This stuff Works!

Oh hell no! She didn't just say that did she?  Damn straight she did! It takes years and years of earned hard patches and victories before some of us can dig deep enough to correct old patterns and set ourselves free of our maddening mind. Well at least get to a point to quiet it a bit.
Everyday there is a lesson to be learned, and life brings it to us just when we need it the most! Today's lesson came to me right on time! 

   Observe the way you are attached to your views and opinions.  
"When you become involved in an argument or conflict, watch how defensive you become, and feel the force of your own aggression as you attack another person's position.  
Feel the mental-emotional energy behind your need to be right and make the other person wrong, then let go of the force inside you that is fighting for power."  ~Eckhart Tolle 

Why do we get so caught up in the drama?  Why do we feed off of it.  Why do we need to have the last word?  Why must we need to prove our point?  To feel justified?  All these things are a mystery to me, as to why we need to do this.  But the first step in changing, is recognizing when you're doing it.  It's when the big "I" (the one connected) see's the little "i" (the one who needs - the ego) spinning out of control, or trying to be in control, that you know you're are present.  And being present with yourself is the first step to calming those needs.

As someone very close to me always says, "It's an inside job".

February 23, 2015

Dear Tiki

Tiki The Brave - Berlin 2012

To say that life will not be the same without you is an understatement.  You've been so much a part of my every life for the past 16 years, how could I not feel such loss without you.

Not only in the last few months–where we spent so much time together trying to battle your illness–
but your whole life you have been my constant companion. With the simplest routines of my day you have been there. Every night you climbed into bed, and stayed constant to your routine, nestled on my side.  In the middle of the night when I rolled, or moved just slightly away, you would move up closer to me.  I miss the feel of your fur on my back, your weight, and warmth.  Waking up, you were always the last one up!  I miss your pitter patter as you walked across the floor.  Even in those last weeks, when you grew restless.  Wherever I was, if I left you for too long, you would come to check on me to see what I was doing, before finally settling on a spot in the sun near me.  And how stubborn you were, pushing anyone, and everyone out of the way so you could claim your corner on the couch, under a pillow.  You always preferred your chest petted, or your ears rubbed, and hated it when people tried to pet your head. The summers brought so much joy to you, and I, and I loved snuggling with you in a corner on the floor where you lay in the sunshine.  I loved watching you move into the hot sun on the deck, and then back under the shade of the table.  And those little things, like wiping sand off your nose after a journey to the beach.  Your "bee in the bonnet"; I'll never forget how crazy you would get running all over the house when I took off your harness.  Most dogs liked to go for walks, and get excited when you pull a leash out. You didn't. You liked it best when it came off again.  Oh those last days of summer, when you chased the butterflies on the beach.  You brought us so much joy just watching your enthusiasm.

Whatever I was doing you were always there and now you are a shadow. I look and I think I see you walk by. I still jump when someone runs to sit on the couch to make sure you aren't snuggled underneath a pillow. Imagine the ruckus you survived!  I still go to shut the bedroom doors to make sure you won't go pee on the rug, but then I remember.   When we get ready to leave the house, I worry that you'll be left behind and then I remember you're not here.  We didn't leave you behind, you left us behind.

I know that you are in a place of peace and a place of joy.  I know in the future it will become easier. But it will take time.  Right now I still look for you. I simply just move and I think I see you, or feel you... Or the opposite, that I need to feel you next to me.  I need to feel you against my back so I can sleep.  Because right now, I wake up in the night, still looking for you.

I have never really known what it meant by a broken heart.   I thought I did. But now I do.  It's heavy, it hurts  and it feels like it will break in half.   I know your okay.  It's me is not okay.

Those last minutes together were so special. Just laying there, so peacefully sleeping. My hand on your chest,  your soft warm fur was so soothing it took me back to a whole lifetime of great memories together. I didn't want to say goodbye.

I miss you, I love you, and you will always be near me. I will always carry a part of you with me. I will cherish the memories from your very young beginning in the East Village to your dear old age of 92 in Germany.   Be it running on the beach, chasing the butterflies, or snuggling under the covers and your nice wet kisses, or your waggling rear when you walk... I will always have those as memories

I will always love you Tiki.  I will never say goodbye.


Good grief, yes, there is such a thing
Eventually, a Lightness it does bring
Be gentle, be soft, as you feel so broken
The power of Love comes unspoken

Divine Love holds all things together
We as humans question whether
But Life knows what It’s doing and Love is Its Light
It brightens and lightens as we take flight

Peace comes, contentment comes, be gentle be kind
Rest your heart and soothe your mind
The human mind is dulled and dazed
But the heart is refilled as you ride the waves

The rendering of Soul to gently restore
A place that is bigger than ever before
To grieve is good for it releases
Eventually through patience and caring, Love increases

Stillness and quiet are a prayer to unfold
As Life’s healing power brings treasures untold
The invitation is to be honest with That which is above
When all is said and done, all there is, is Love

Each moment, each hour of grieving and feeling
Reveals from the Soul the spirit of healing
Be patient, be kind
For good grief takes time


DeAnna LoCoco 2007
All rights reserved ©

January 27, 2015

Create Your Life!

     When I wake up, I take a big stretch- right there in bed. Then I read some very helpful motivational, and perhaps spiritual notes or from a book. This is how I start the day. Afterwards I'll exercise, or just have another coffee, but the exercise for my spiritual self is the most important part of my morning routine. 

     This morning I wanted to share with you one of my favorite and important mantras, it's linked with the positive affirmation brigade, but don't boo boo it. Why wouldn't positive affirmations work? Negative ones do! You do it all the time. You say I can't, I won't, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm not good enough, I don't know how and then you believe it. So why not reverse the message you tell yourself. Imagine if you put as much energy into being positive what you could do! So here it is...

        Today I recognize that I tend to produce in my life what I feel is true for myself

     Thoughts have a creative power of their own, and if you look closely you can see your thoughts come to life. Create the possibility of what you would like by first experiencing it in your mind. Visualize what you would like to have in your life in your mind’s eye. Accept what you see in your inner eye as being there for you and fully participate in your vision as if it were yours. Be specific about what you see, smell, taste and feel, and accept it as fully as possible. Enjoy your vision, then let it go and move on in your day, releasing it with no thought of controlling it further. 
That little bindi dot? It's representational of your minds eye!  It also represents your sixth chakra, 
the seat of "concealed wisdom". The bindi is said to retain energy and strengthen concentration. 
The bindi also represents the third eye. There are many meanings behind the bindi, and they are all valid. 

         Another way of looking at it is using the expression; Fake it till you make it. But you have to believe in yourself, live past the fear. Just go for it. Don't let anybody, or any negativity hold you back!

All good things are possible for you and for me!

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.     -Henry David Thoreau

It's never too early, or too late to believe in your strength!

January 18, 2015

Happy New Year 2015

Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, you’ve got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living . . . you’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively. 
Mel Brooks


This is the year!
         I could feel everything leading up to this year as an awakening of consciousness. Where 2013 was one of confusion and struggle, the actual process of awakening began early in 2014. With hard work–internal work–I've slowly yet steadily discovered some answers to questions long left dormant. I feel alive now, awake, and ready.  I have a new career blossoming before me, that excites me and has me eager to learn more.  My relationship with my life partner has matured in a way I would never have expected.  Struggles and pain are apart of life.  It's the way we handle them, confront them, and ask ourselves what we did, how we can be, and who do we want to be that help push us forward past these times.  With everything going on in the world around us–terrible violence and inhumane responses–it's important even more right now, that we sit quietly, be still, and focus on what is, and what is inside us. 

It seems silly, but when I'm obsessing, or worried, or sad, I just have to take a deep breath, go sit somewhere quiet, breathe in the fresh air, and remind myself, that nothing can change me, but myself.    That what I want, only I can give me.  To let go, to remain free and open.  Let the good come in, and fill me with energy, and let the bad energy out to dissolve.

My only intention for this year (not resolution) is to live life, to extend my arms, jump around a lot, and to make noise; the happy kind.  And in the doing, I hope to affect those around me with the same.