October 28, 2015

For What it's Worth, Being Grateful is Easy

Sometime last year, at the end of a long grey winter, and a much needed "shedding of gloom", I made a list.    

This is the year for getting real with myself.  And that also includes sharing something more, than my love of fashion, icons and vintage 70's inspo.  It means sharing my spiritual journey, and you know, getting all zen on it.  You know. Meditation, crystals, and sage.

Anyhow, where was I?  Oh yes.  So sometime last year, after a particularly hard three years, I was asked by my angels and guides to make a list of what I'm grateful for.  So I did. I wrote it down, and then filed it away. With all my other notes and journals.

I didn't remember doing it when I just happened to come across it today.  But reading it anew, it brought out all sorts of feelings of ahhh and ohhh.   Ahhh to feel good about that.  Wow, to have that! And Ohhh, a bit sad at things that have passed.

I'm happy to share it, If anything, what a wonderful exercise to do!  Focusing on the positive. We can be so sad and negative at times, it's good to remember why were here, and what were grateful for.  Besides, I love writing lists.

So here it is:

1. I am so grateful to have such great friends in life, that even through time and distance we have remained super close.

2. I am grateful that it's been sunny and warm here in Hamburg this past week!

3. I am grateful that every day is a chance to start anew.

4. I am grateful for Tiki, who wakes me up with a smelly kiss every day. She'll be 16 this October!

5. I am grateful for 19 (20 in Feb) years with Mark.

6.  I am grateful for Jackson and Dean.  They are amazing and kind.  And they will always be.

7.   I am grateful for zen belly dancing makeup artist BFF Jamie!

8.  I am grateful for Victoria and how our relationship grows and matures each year.

9.  I am grateful for my Brooklyn babes!  New York Babes! Virginia Babes! California Babes! Hamburg Babes!  Barcelona Babe!  

10.  I am grateful for the sun that is shining across the floor and warming my feet.

11.  I am grateful for the opportunity to study in London

12.  I am grateful for my mother's strong brave personality that carried us through the toughest times in my early life.

13.  I am grateful for my brother and his Dome of Freeness.

14.  I am grateful for having a relationship filled with love and respect with my father.

15.  I am grateful for learning to wipe out the phrase, "I should…"   and replace it with:  I will, I want, I need, etc...

16.  I am grateful for silence

17.  I am grateful for menopause!

18.   I am grateful for 




Well I didn't finish.  But it was a good list.  I'm still very very sad that Tiki is no longer here to wake me up with her stinky breath.  I don't think that pain will EVER go away.   My Mother is still a tough cookie, but battling the pain in the ass that Chemo is.  She's a survivor!  Fuck Breast Cancer.  And my Father, is now in a Memory Care facility because his Parkinsons/Dementia is a bitch, which means, talking to him is really difficult between the awfulness of him being there, and his failing ability to talk for very long. I miss our regular conversations.  I used to get frustrated that I was the one that had to call to make the conversations happen (being in Europe). But I'd give anything for that to be the problem again.  

Even so,  I have more to be grateful for now to add to the list.  

18.   I am grateful for to be back in Brooklyn among my friends.

19.  I am grateful for my soul Sista Hannah who is on the same spiritual path i am. 

20.  I am grateful for all the amazing friends I made in Hamburg. I'll miss you.

21.  and I am grateful for my Goddess mother DeAnna who has been the anchor and the ignition for the start of my spiritual journey.

~ Namaste ~

October 6, 2015

Living and Breathing Love and Life

Just a lovely recap of yesterday's big day.

It was awesome!  

My birth into my next chapter of life has started off on a good foot.  So many sweet tidings from friends all over the world and loads of love from family near and afar, blood and by bond.

Oysters for lunch, cake for tea time, Pescado and Margaritas for dinner!  All my favorite things.
And the best?  I was sarinated to by my sons and husband!  With one son on piano, the other on guitar, they all sang out Happy Birthday to me.  What a great surprise!
I do love surprises!

It's all good from here really.  Everything up to now is school.  Now it's time to practice what we've learned, to put it to good, and keep it going.  And what better way to illustrate this than Susan Grace's post from yesterday, on my birthday!!  Move forward. Don't plow on through blindly.  Take it with grace, and steady strength.  Steady on my friend. Were in this together.

You are on a bridge.
You are walking between
What was and what is coming next.
Suffering is behind you.
What you're heart truly wants is in front of you.

On this walk,
You are anxious that
If you don't walk exactly right,
The bridge will fall and
So will you.
Maybe you should book it -
Run fast and hard.
Get away from what was.
Dive head-first into what's calling you forward.
Get this transition over with and be done with it.
Don't do that.
You'll smash the bridge.
You have to find the balance.
It's not in what is happening or
In what people around you are doing.
You have to find the balance within.
You have to carry that balance forward to the other side.
You do not know how this is going to pan out.
You do not know how other people are going to show up.
You only know that you have to cross this bridge.
You only know that you,
One way or another,
Are going to make it to the other side
Without falling.
Don't smash the bridge.
You need it.
Trust the Life ahead that is calling your name.
Let your heart lead.
Find the balance.


October 3, 2015

Gusty winds bring the Celebration of the Living and the Dead

I love October! It's chilly, windy, and brings in feelings of celebration on All Hallows Eve, carving pumpkins, decoration with skeletons, and of course, my birthday is where it all begins for me.

So begins the celebration of my 50th year. I can't really believe it to be true.  I don't feel this number, nor do I really look like what we think 50 looks like.  My birthday is NOT today, it's on Monday, but tonight I celebrate with with a few friends. I can't wait to gather around with my friends to celebrate life! Life is good!

I remember when communicating to my friend about being 50 this year, after shrugging, "ugh", she laughed and said. "Well, what's the alternative?  Death?  You should be celebrating."  Ha. I had to have a laugh at that.

I start my year– not on New Years– but on my birthday date, with goals and commitments to myself.  Some of them I started early on, to make sure I was well on the way with these commitments before I even hit the magic age of 50.  My most proud moment is laying off cigarettes... again.  I used to be a smoker over 10 years ago, when I quit. But I let stress, and anxiety bring me back to that habit, just two years ago.   Well, it just pissed me off that I did this, and in light of friends and family members going through Cancer, I told myself I was being stupid. So this past August I quit for good.  Just stopped cold turkey, and I feel great.

I've also started on a good course of Yoga and Meditation.  My meditation practice is getting stronger, and Yoga is slowly getting rooted into my weekly practice.   This is all good healthy stuff.

I have more ideas, but the most important is to get my business going.   Just settling in right now, and getting my studio set up, but when I get there, by end of this week (YES I WILL), I'll let you know!

This blog will also be taking a re-design, and focus. So wait for that.

In the meantime, I wanted to share a reading from one of my favorite Astrologer/writer's, Susan Grace.  You can find her on Facebook. More than an astrologer, more of a Spiritual Leader! I felt this to be perfect for me this last week.  The birth of the new moon was extraordinary, and really had an effect on me.  And this just sums it up. Thanks Susan.  And thanks Hannah for being so supportive and sharing!

Moon in Gemini square Jupiter in Virgo and Neptune Rx/Chiron Rx in Pisces, trine Sun in Libra, quincunx Pluto in Capricorn

Sun in Libra quincunx Neptune Rx in Pisces, square Pluto in Capricorn
Mercury Rx exacting Black Moon Lilith and Juno in Libra
North Node at zero degrees Libra sextile Saturn at 1 degree Sagittarius
Venus in 3rd decan Leo
Mars in Virgo oppose Neptune Rx in Pisces
Jupiter in Virgo trine Pluto in Capricorn

It's almost comical.
We try so hard to make everything line up.
Blind faith are involved, and
We think Let Love Rule, but also,
How do we make this exactly like we want it?
Um, we don't.
It's not going to be exactly like we want it.
It's going to be
Weird and
Awkward and
You'll say things you don't mean.
You'll stumble.
You'll serve up your heart on a silver platter.
You'll pour out forgiveness when people act like jackasses.
You'll wear your best shoes in the rain.
You'll burn the lasagna, but it's still edible.
This is Life.
It is perfect in it's imperfections.
The only thing you need to line up is
Your trust in yourself.
Don't worry so much about how Life is showing up.
It's showing up how it needs to.
It's surprising you on purpose.
It's showing you what you need to learn about
The Truth of Who You Really Are.
Be brave and
Reach for the Beauty.
You have Love in your heart -
You'll be fine.