Sometime last year, at the end of a long grey winter, and a much needed "shedding of gloom", I made a list.
This is the year for getting real with myself. And that also includes sharing something more, than my love of fashion, icons and vintage 70's inspo. It means sharing my spiritual journey, and you know, getting all zen on it. You know. Meditation, crystals, and sage.
Anyhow, where was I? Oh yes. So sometime last year, after a particularly hard three years, I was asked by my angels and guides to make a list of what I'm grateful for. So I did. I wrote it down, and then filed it away. With all my other notes and journals.
I didn't remember doing it when I just happened to come across it today. But reading it anew, it brought out all sorts of feelings of ahhh and ohhh. Ahhh to feel good about that. Wow, to have that! And Ohhh, a bit sad at things that have passed.
I'm happy to share it, If anything, what a wonderful exercise to do! Focusing on the positive. We can be so sad and negative at times, it's good to remember why were here, and what were grateful for. Besides, I love writing lists.
So here it is:
1. I am so grateful to have such great friends in life, that even through time and distance we have remained super close.
2. I am grateful that it's been sunny and warm here in Hamburg this past week!
3. I am grateful that every day is a chance to start anew.
4. I am grateful for Tiki, who wakes me up with a smelly kiss every day. She'll be 16 this October!
5. I am grateful for 19 (20 in Feb) years with Mark.
6. I am grateful for Jackson and Dean. They are amazing and kind. And they will always be.
7. I am grateful for zen belly dancing makeup artist BFF Jamie!
8. I am grateful for Victoria and how our relationship grows and matures each year.
9. I am grateful for my Brooklyn babes! New York Babes! Virginia Babes! California Babes! Hamburg Babes! Barcelona Babe!
10. I am grateful for the sun that is shining across the floor and warming my feet.
11. I am grateful for the opportunity to study in London
12. I am grateful for my mother's strong brave personality that carried us through the toughest times in my early life.
13. I am grateful for my brother and his Dome of Freeness.
14. I am grateful for having a relationship filled with love and respect with my father.
15. I am grateful for learning to wipe out the phrase, "I should…" and replace it with: I will, I want, I need, etc...
16. I am grateful for silence
17. I am grateful for menopause!
18. I am grateful for
Well I didn't finish. But it was a good list. I'm still very very sad that Tiki is no longer here to wake me up with her stinky breath. I don't think that pain will EVER go away. My Mother is still a tough cookie, but battling the pain in the ass that Chemo is. She's a survivor! Fuck Breast Cancer. And my Father, is now in a Memory Care facility because his Parkinsons/Dementia is a bitch, which means, talking to him is really difficult between the awfulness of him being there, and his failing ability to talk for very long. I miss our regular conversations. I used to get frustrated that I was the one that had to call to make the conversations happen (being in Europe). But I'd give anything for that to be the problem again.
Even so, I have more to be grateful for now to add to the list.
18. I am grateful for to be back in Brooklyn among my friends.
19. I am grateful for my soul Sista Hannah who is on the same spiritual path i am.
20. I am grateful for all the amazing friends I made in Hamburg. I'll miss you.
21. and I am grateful for my Goddess mother DeAnna who has been the anchor and the ignition for the start of my spiritual journey.
~ Namaste ~